We'll be right back after this word from our sponsors.

Washing machines live longer with calgon.
Just one cornetto, give it to me.
BANG! And the dirt is gone.
Beanz Meanz Heinz.

Gentle reader, our minds are being invaded. This menace creeps into our entertainment and brain washes us into buying their shit.
The jingles that get caught into your head, repeated until your eyes are red, their products they want you to buy, using facts that are clearly a lie. From baked beans to fat grilling machines, from chesse that is cake to tan that is fake. Dig deep in your pockets, my friends, they want your money, and they want it now.

Who sits at home, and see's an image on screen, telling them to buy a car, and then, on the spur of the moment, goes and buys the afformentioned car? If I wanted to buy a car, I'd buy one, I don't need you to show me what a car looks like, and I don't need to be told what to buy.

My gut isn't hurting, I don't need your "friendly bacteria", with your "bifidus digestivum" and your "activus regularum", your science is found wanting, and your word smiths need shooting.

Daz, is not a soap to beleive in, why would I use a cleaning powder sold to be by recycled soap stars? Everyone knows recycling is dirty, which means these soap stars are dirty, and I don't trust dirty Den. He got his willy out on the net, very dirty indeed.

I like to watch charecters grow old, and eventually die in a tv show, it reminds me I'm human, and grounds me to reality. But I don't need a "comercial family" telling me to shop at tesco, or use BT. I don't care if he forgot her birthday, or they need a new house. I don't care for your children, or your hairy little dog, and I care not for the product you wish me to buy.

I'm not going to visit California, no matter how smiley Arnie looks when he asks when I can start, and I don't want to discover my "Own Ireland".

So please, stop trying to take my money. I'll spend where I like, when I like, on who I like.

A message for the creator of adverts (I like to think he's called Eddie Vert) If I want KFC, I'll buy some. If I need a whore, I'll get one. If I want a whore with a bargain bucket of KFC, I'll give your mother a call.

I'd like to thank y'all for reading, I've got a lot of steam to vent.
Later days, take it easy.
Simon.
Cocreator of the Universe.