Come down my chimney..

Dear Santa.

This year I would like peace on Earth.
Please solve the below issues.

Please stop the people who created the "Scary movie" film series from creating needless parodies of other movies.

Please, discontinue Kerry Katona's vagina. She's got far to many children, and is well on the way to taking over the world.

Please, let me find the strength to resist buying 4 copies of big issue. I'm all for charity, but I've got enough paper to build a fort.

Please, make Saw 7 be the last. Its being made in 3D, and I'm happy for the expansion in media, but please, this film series needs to die.

Please, sort out the MP's. Stop them spending money on Boats, and moats. Cars and bars. To pay their maid, to get them laid. The cost of them having shiney teeth is our schools having low quality meat.

Please, help me fight my addiction to facebook. I play poker, I have a farm, I am a vampire, I've even been known to be a Pirate. Its stealing me away from my family. And I'm always on it at work. This can't be healthy.

Give me a ticket for Toy Story 3.

Go back in time and stop me watching Twilight.

Do all these things, and the world will be a better place.

Please Santa, I beg of you.

Regards, Simon, aged 19 (and 6 months)

Ps- I leave you cookies every year, so you best answer me!